Retro Pain Game-Round Three

Why I could survive a zombie attack

I frequently try to find the good side of having migraines, such as developing new skills, and recently I figured out that having migraines might just help me during a zombie attack.

Here are some of the reasons why I think I could survive a zombie attack.

1) I’ve read The Zombie Attack Manual, The Zen of Zombie and The Walking Dead graphic novel series.

2) I’ve watched dozens of zombie movies, including my favorites, such as Resident Evil, Dawn of the Dead, Shaun of the Dead, Zombie Honeymoon, Fido, Slither, 28 Days Later, 28 Weeks Later, and Night of Comet.

3) I’m used to living in adverse conditions because of my chronic migraines, such as still having to function while in extreme pain.

4) One of my hobbies used to be target shooting so I’m sure I could manage a head shot.

5) I’m a vegetarian, so I’m already used to being grossed out by people eating meat. (sorry carnivores)

6) I don’t think a zombie would want to eat my brain anyway. Although I’m corn fed, I’m sure the amount of the drugs I’ve taken for my migraines has pickled my brain, thus making it unappetizing to zombies.

7) I’m most likely to be the unconscious person during the initial zombie attack, because I will be home sick with a migraine, so I will survive the initial chaos. Then I will wake up and commence to kicking zombie ass.

MC Comic

Here is one of my latest comics.

Retro Pain Game

More migraine friendly images modified for the pain game.

Summer Buzz

The June Pain-Blog carnival is up at How to Cope with Pain This month’s theme is summer/vacation. Lots of other great reading there, too, including my post about The Golden Rules for Migraines.

Other buzz includes, Migraine Expressions-The Book is going to be released in July. Teri Robert, migraine educator and advocate, provided a lovely foreword and they listed Migraine Chick under the Informational Sites, Blogs, and Forums on the migraine resources page on the Word Metro Press web site.

"A beautiful, hardcover, full-color volume of breathtaking migraine art and intimate prose and poetry. Open this book to enter the world of life with migraine through the art and words of the most precious and trusted sources – those who live in it. This collection of personal expressions from people around the world impacted by this disease illustrates some of the ways millions upon millions of migraineurs and their loved ones feel, love, work and play while trying to manage symptoms and live as well as possible.

Migraine, as horrendous as it can be, does not define who we are; and the poetry, essays, art and photography in this book illuminate the hope, optimism, and accomplishments in our lives as well as the painful, dark and lonely times.

As a platform for migraineurs and their loved ones to share experiences, this book also inherently promotes awareness and a real understanding of migraine and exposes the urgent need for more education, research, and effective treatments."

Through July 1, books can be purchased at a pre-publication price of $25 (retail will be $35) through the Web site, and this first, limited-run shipment will have matte dust jackets. The book is featured on Word Metro Press"

The Serial Rescheduler

Since I'm a serial appointment rescheduler due to my migraines, I finally decided I was going to get my ass to the hygienist one way or another on Saturday because I haven't had my teeth cleaned for nine months. I woke up with a bouncing brain and a bouncing stomach to match, so I took all my drugs and I took some things with me to the dentist, including my sleepy eye mask, my I-pod loaded with relaxation music and a can of ginger ale.

The hygienist didn't seem put out at all with my migraine kit. She said lots of people use sunglasses because of the bright lights, so I rigged myself up for my cleaning and I made it through it without chucking on her once.

Afterwards, I sipped my ginger ale to calm my bouncing stomach. I always feel nauseous after a cleaning anyways, so this really helped. The bad news is that I need a crown in July. Who knows how much my migraine kit will really help when they start drilling on my teeth??

June Cleaver’s Secret Shame

I’ve been avoiding the uptight woman at work, who reminds me of June Cleaver, ever since she yelled at me for accidentally yawning without covering my mouth.(Sometimes when my migraines are bad, I get these very painful yawns.) I wrote about it in my post No Yawning Allowed. It drives me nuts listening to her eat her baby carrots for snacks at her desk, chewing them like a hamster, and how she glares at me whenever I eat something sugary.

Yesterday, a vendor came into work for a visit and they brought us ice cream sundaes and brownies for a treat. Not wanting to tempt the migraine gods at work, I went upstairs to the lunchroom to see if there was anything sans chocolate, when I spotted June Cleaver sitting by herself at a table in the corner. I was surprised to see her actually partaking in the goodies.

Of course, I had to breeze by her to get some water. To my surprise, I saw she had a sundae with hot fudge and whipped cream with two brownies on her plate beside it. Holy cow!

Since the sundaes were pre-made and the only topping was hot fudge, I decided to pass and I headed back to my desk. A while later, June Cleaver returned and she was looking quite peaked.

“I think I may have over indulged,” she said.

No shit, I wanted to say, but instead I said, “Really.”

“I have a bit of a problem with sugar. Once I start eating it, I can’t stop.”

I couldn’t resist.

“So what did you actually eat?” I asked.

“Well, the sundae was topped with whipped cream, nuts and cookie bits, and I ate two brownies. And it turned out there was another brownie at the bottom of the sundae cup, so I ate that, too.”

“Wow,” I said. “That’s a lot of sugar.”

Looking paler, she nodded and started working again. Suddenly, I had an image of her hiding in the pantry when she was a kid and spooning sugar into her mouth before her mom found her and yelled bloody murder at her. She was a secret sugar binger! No wonder she looked at sugar the way she did.

I can’t say that I like her anymore after learning this, but I think I’m starting to understand where she is coming from a little better. I guess all of us have secret lives in one way or another.